Nigel Buxton Update
Pass the glue, I am coming unstuck! January 5, 2006

 
  Dear Nigel,

Welcome to the first Update of 2006. My best wishes for a year of good health and prosperity, and lots of energy to make those dreams become reality! And a special welcome to new subscribers. If you want to see previous Updates, you can find them here.

How often do you justify your actions to yourself and others saying, "This is the way I am"?

Do you accept yourself this way because it is convenient or because you do not believe that it is possible to change?

When crisis hits – broken marriage, loss of job, absorption of your company by a larger one (as in the case of a dear friend) – you have two ways to go. You can collapse and be the victim, "Oh poor me, why did it happen to me?". Or, you can take the challenge and make a new start from it. Either way you cannot change the events, but you can change what you make of them. Life does go on. I have known two entrepreneurs who lost their factories in fires. One rebuilt it quickly and became more successful than ever. The other was broken by the event and though he restarted the business he never managed to grow it to bigger than before the fire.

In times of crisis people do make decisions to change, and change they do. It can be transformational: a decision is made to let the old personality die and to create a new one.

If it can be done: why wait for a crisis?
If I want to have the best possible relationship with my partner, would I not want to improve myself?
If I want to do my best at work, will I not try to become more effective?
If I want to be successful, will I not do everything possible?

If I decide "This is the way I am", am I not courting disaster?

Many times I have heard in companies, "He is an awkward bastard, but he is the only one we have". And because he is the only one, he thinks that he is allowed to behave badly. You can be sure at the first opportunity, the company will let him go.

 
 
A life that works or a spanner in the works

It takes so much effort to put together a life that "works": getting through exams, finding a partner, buying a house, having children, making the most of the money earned, keeping all the family happy, keeping the boss and co-workers happy, keeping the career going upward, doing the right things socially and in the community, and so on.
Once a piece fits, we try to glue it in place so we can focus on other pieces to complete the puzzle, or to restick the parts which have come unglued!

"This is the way I am" is the sum of all the parts of the puzzle – somehow it works. And it took so long and so much effort getting it together: who would want to start all over again?

Maybe you would if you knew that you could handle it with ease. When you have had an experience, you never completely forget it, and you do it differently a second time, with more confidence. I have had the amazing experience of having a second child when 49 years young. Second time around - a few years on, a little more experienced in life, a little less pressure to create a life that "works", more clarity about what is important in life - it is easier.

Individuals and families, I have known, who have uprooted and gone to live in a new country have experienced (without the crisis) so much change to their routines and patterns of life that a new "This is the new way I am" came out.

 
 

"What can I do better? "
A company will ask its customers directly through a survey how it can improve – how it can serve its customers better. It will not allow a comfortable existence to be taken for granted. It knows it must continue to develop and evolve. Or, in time, its results will deteriorate as it becomes obsolete.

Are you taking a "take me or leave me" attitude towards life? Or, are you willing to change and evolve so that you can make a greater contribution? We have the technology!

Nigel coaches people like you to freedom – freedom from limitations, freedom to do/be more, financial freedom, emotional freedom, freedom to be yourself.

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Kind regards,


nigel
phone: +386-(0)1-420-1524: +386-(0)31-674-924