How to be more influential?
 
  Nigel Buxton Update
How to be more influential? September 2005
 
  Dear Nigel,

Many years ago as a newly appointed Manager in a Big 4 International Accounting company I was sent on, what was then called, a "Management Development Seminar". Part of the course was a personality assessment (one that is still among the most respected).

Can you imagine my horror

The seminar leader said, "Nigel, do you feel you are in the right job? (long pause) Over 70% of the partners and managers in the Big 4 companies are of two personality types, and you are one of the complete opposites".

Once you know the problem you can fix it

Before I could not understand why I had difficulty reporting, discussing and relating to my peers and superiors, now it was clear. I studied the types – especially to understand the 70%. Actually I treated everyone as different from me, and it became fun seeing how successful I could be at relating.

 		 
 
Relating means talking in the same language

It is not about english, slovenian, german or italian, but using words which are understood as you wanted them to be. Because of the way we sense things, we use different language – my 70% were all visual people and they would not relate when I used expressions of "feelings".

The art of relating with people is also to speak in the language they think with

To give an example: think of a glass of water – imagine drinking half of it. Now some people will say the glass is half-full: some will say it is half empty. They are two ways of looking at something: what is there and what is missing– no one is right or wrong. This is one example of a pattern of behaviour.
 
 

If you wish to influence people

An excellent way to increase your influence with people is to adjust your language to match their pattern of behaviour. Are you talking to a big picture person or a specific/detail person? Does he make decisions because it looks or sounds or feels right or does he need to go through it a number of times and let it mature? Is he a person that builds on areas of common ground, or does he like "new concepts" and "fresh approaches"? And so on. The right language for the right person for the desired result!

It is not a question of whether you are in the right job, but can you relate effectively with people?

How you communicate will determine what response you get from your subordinates, peers, superiors, suppliers, customers, everyone.

How important is it for you to work and get results?

I work with people in business who want to do more with less – to make a greater contribution with less effort – to be more themselves with less holding them back.

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Kind regards,,


nigel
phone: (+386)-031-674-924: (+386) 01-420-1524